Crochet: A Guilty Pleasure?
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How many of you have ever suffered from guilty feelings because of the time you take to crochet, or knit, or enjoy any other craft? If this is you, I hope to free you of this by the end of this discourse. As a woman past the half-century mark I have worn many hats in my lifetime: daughter, sister, friend, student, band member, drum major, veterinarian’s assistant, secretary, clerk, teacher, wife, etc. But honestly, none have been more rewarding or more demanding than being a mother in the home. When I became a mom, I also became the family nutritionist & chef, nurse/doctor, hairstylist, fashion consultant, seamstress, educator, mentor, psychologist/counselor, interior decorator, driving instructor, diplomat, referee, not to mention the more than occasional & all purpose maid. My mom used to say, “A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done!” I dare say that in many ways she was right, making my seemingly forever unfinished work my main source of guilt whenever I crochet, or do anything that is mainly for my pleasure and not for the purpose of serving others.
To get to the root of this issue, our first question should be, where is this guilt coming from? From a family member? Friends? An unseen enemy? Or our own impossible expectations? When I think back to when I was a much younger mother, I think there was a combination of issues at work in my heart. The main issue was very legitimate: It was more important to take care of my very young children who had many immediate needs. I was in an intense, yet wonderful season of life where my children needed help with everything from eating, diapering, bathing, to tying their shoes. However, that season has passed, yet I found the guilt remained. Why?
I believe one reason why guilt remained was having unreasonable expectations of what my home should look like. Try as I may, my home will never look like those decorator magazines at the supermarket because PEOPLE live in my house! These inhabitants also have a tendency to leave many “signs of life” throughout the house as well. (Since becoming a crochet designer, I may even be the biggest offender of this!) Am I saying never to clean your house? Absolutely not! Please don’t tell others that I said we can abdicate our responsibilities here. I just think it is self-defeating to not rest or pursue a hobby until every molecule of dirt and dust is removed. They do have places like this, but they are usually sealed off rooms in laboratories, and they are not where people live!
Another question to ask ourselves is this: “Am I trying to please or impress someone else too much?” Or how about this one: “Am I competing with ‘the Jones’?” If your answer is yes to either of these, I would encourage you to check your heart and ask why it is so important to please or impress these folks. Once you discover the answer, you find that you can take time to relax and rest. Even God rested on the seventh day after creating the universe! If you are trying too hard to please other people, you may have created an idol in your life that is best destroyed, especially if it is running your life and controlling your joy.
Pursuing a craft or hobby like crochet makes us nicer, more joyful people to be around, and who doesn’t want this? Medical research has also shown that crafts like crochet and knitting can improve your physical and mental health. Many of us already knew this before researchers added their credence to the discussion, but this information does further encourage me and relieves any remaining residual guilt.
Another thing I often hear from people is this question: “When do you find the time?” Here’s my abbreviated answer: We all have extra minutes in our day that can be harvested and put to good use if you look for them. Do you commute on a bus or train? How about a doctor’s office where you will be waiting in the waiting room for 20 to 30 minutes? Relaxing time watching a program on television? What do you do for those 10 minutes while you are waiting for supper to finish cooking in the oven? How about that time you may be spending on social media? If you look, it isn’t hard to find the time. When we make the most of our time we might just surprise ourselves with what we can accomplish, including ridding ourselves of misplaced guilt!
